Hi!
So I'm back with a new post... hopefully, I finish and publish this. This is what I do, I start writing and then hear this voice inside my head saying "don't bother, nobody is interested" BUT YOU KNOW WHAT. It's so not true. Because I am doing this for myself and girl, I'm interested. I love reading my blog posts, I love reminiscing and there is nothing to reminisce if I don't do this so here it is.
enough explaining.
so yeah!
We went to Jasper National Park again! again because we were just there last month with my D group, because #summer, but this time we went because it's Niño's mom's death anniversary. I don't know if he went because of that but I wish he did HAHA. every July long weekend, for the last 6 years, we have been going somewhere, anywhere. At first, I thought of it so we don't get sad and instead think of the trip instead. To get away from the memory of my dad's passing. But now, I do it because I want to see the world. We haven't really gone anywhere crazy in the last 6 years, mostly just Canada, but in the future, I hope we can. My dad has travelled a lot for work. I remember his passport being reinforced because literally there were not enough pages for immigration to use. and that's different countries every time! He was never in the same one twice, I believe. and though he did that, I wish he has seen more... so I go and take him with me. so there, now I think we'll have to go somewhere every September long weekend!
We went to different lakes this time, and I swear there are still lots of places to go for me in Jasper. I am not done with that little town yet! PLUS. they have the best chocolate! Some might even say that I went because of the chocolate and that is mostly true but also because we were on a budget and we only had the weekend.
For this trip, we went to Medicine Lake, Pyramid Island, Sunwapta Falls, Athabasca Glacier. I know it doesn't sound a lot of places and we could really have gone to a lot more but, we started our Saturday late, we got out of our hotel room at noon HAHA and for Sunday we did nothing but breakfast and just headed home. We got good weather for the most part except when we were at the glacier, we got rained on. Will definitely go again! --- Also, we chose really non-hiking spots. All the places that we went to, literally you just have to park the car and you're there. except for the glacier, there was a little bit of a hike but it wasn't that bad.
also, one last thing I wanted to mention, I was so proud of the photos that I took for them, and then my photos that they took of me - I'd rather not comment. LOL
Until the next adventure! - LITERALLY.
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| A crappy photo, but a funny story. so timeline worthy. |
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| To Medicine Lake! |
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| me trying. |
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| The dog who learned how to work the rocks. Trust me it's a big deal for her! |
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| the struggle to get this picture I swear, with everybody's hands pointing. |
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| Pyramid Island |
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| Spot the squirrel!! |
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| There it is! |
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| Pyramid mountain in the background |
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| Pyramid Mountain, notice the pink rocks! |
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| FALL IS HERE. |
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| Sunwapta Falls |
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| Mico with his buwis buhay shot hahaha |
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| Athabasca glacier, I think. |
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| Me saying, "sana nag park ka diyan" and Niño coming thru! we always want to stop and look at the view but for the most part we don't, so glad we did this time |
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| I think this is why we got rained on, because it wasn't really pouring at the parking lot. It just got worse the more we got close to the glacier |
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| YUP. global warming is real ya'll! |
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| Random people's car at Sunwapta Falls, cool ride whoever you are! |
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| at pyramid Island |
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| me trying again. |
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| Sunwapta Falls |
So, I thought I should just start and do this already. Without any plans or direction, just write.
Here it goes!
So yesterday, we and by we I mean my family, me, mico, mama and niño, had dinner at Baekjeong, a korean bbq restaurant, and as much as I would love to show you pictures of our dinner, I didn't take any because 1. we go there so often that it felt like any other day, 2. because we are usually really hungry that we can't stop even for a moment to take pictures. HAHA
After Baekjeong, we went to a dessert place because we wanted bingsoo, I googled and nearest place is Let Eat Snow. I haven't been there before and I am glad we came. They had the best dessert that I have tried in a while. Their honey butter bread was amazing. It was so good that as I am typing this, all I want to do is drive there and get another one.
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| Honey butter bread - Let eat snow |
Also, on other noteworthy things that happened yesterday, I got new lashes! I have experienced extensions before and decided that they are not for me, even though I really love it... I mean who doesn't like long and full lashes? So I have settled for false lashes but I have never got the hang of it! The whole business with the glue was too much for my low maintenance self. until this... a church friend posted about magnetic lashes and I have seen them before just never convinced it works that easy, but then she shared how easy they were to put on and how she struggled with the glue as well so I said to myself, why not try this one? How bad could it be? And I am glad I did! They were so easy to put on!! First try and I was already happy with the results! I had to trim it and was not sure on how it would look but I think it turned out well. See for yourself!
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| This one is Chanel, after trimming |
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| magnetic liner, so easy to use! and trust me I am not an expert in liners, have not even mastered the wing yet after all these years. lol |
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This was the before picture (no lashes) Foundation: Hourglass Vanish Seamless Finish Foundation Stick in Natural Concealer: Glossier Stretch Concealer in G9 Contour: Smashbox Step by Step Contour Palette in Light/Medium Blush: Wet n Wild color icon blush in Pearlescent Pink Mascara: Glossier Lash Slick mascara Brows: Glossier Boy Brow in Brown Eyeshadow: Huda Beauty Coral Obsessions Lips: Kaja Heart Melter Lip Gloss Stick in 08 So fine Highlight: The Balm Will Powder in Worth the Wait Moisturizer: Pixi Hydrating Milky Mist Setting powder: Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Finish in 2 Medium Primer/Setting spray: Mac Prep+Prime+Fix+ Cherry Blossom | |
Also, yesterday was my day off after working 6 days in a row! I need more days like this. Summer please stay...
but for now...
Until the next adventure!
So I was looking back to a "draft" post for a Canada day weekend and while reading it I was shocked that I started this blog 4 years ago and then completely ignored it after 6 months LOL. That's some real "ningas kugon" attitude. And before I pick this back up, because I swear I will....
Here's what happened.
So 4 years ago, I went on a trip to the Philippines, my last vacation before going back to school. I have been working full time for 2 years and before I start a 2.5-year program in school, I wanted a real vacation. a long one. and I did. and things completely changed after that. I came back here and started school, the family happened, and that was that.
I have graduated 2 years ago now, and I am working shift hours so my schedule has been really crazy even with the pandemic, but I really want to start this up again.
I know that most people would rather "watch" than "read" now, but I am not from now. I am from before. I am a person from the past. charot. But honestly, I am a tita and I just prefer blogging than vlogging or Facebook.
I know I don't have to explain myself to anyone, because to be honest if you are reading this, it is because you chose to do so, (one thing I like about having this space is it is not as easy to access as Facebook) beacuse it is easier to not read this than to actually do, you can't blame me for posting anything.
So yeah, I am just busy with something else right now that maybe I will share with you in the future, but for now, you have this.
I have so many things to catch up on, on this blog. I will try my best to fill the gap from 2016 to 2020 as much as I can or if that fails, I will just rename the blog as 2021 and beyond. I can honestly be like 2020 and beyond at least but, who cares about 2020 right?
until the next adventure!
I swear. I am running out of reasons NOT to post on here. until then.
SOON.
Hey!
I know I said I will pick this up again but never did... And you might think that with the global pandemic that is going on right now I should have had more time but... I work in the lab. While everyone has been granted the gift of time and space during this crisis... I sadly have been not. I don't know why I wanted to type this out here, seeing that not a lot of people follow this anyway... but I did so here.
I WILL PICK THIS UP. I WILL WRITE. in the future.
I PROMISE.
Mariel
I know I said I will pick this up again but never did... And you might think that with the global pandemic that is going on right now I should have had more time but... I work in the lab. While everyone has been granted the gift of time and space during this crisis... I sadly have been not. I don't know why I wanted to type this out here, seeing that not a lot of people follow this anyway... but I did so here.
I WILL PICK THIS UP. I WILL WRITE. in the future.
I PROMISE.
Mariel
Hi,
I promise I will pick this up again. I have had so many writing prompts in the last few months but I could never get them here. But tonight, as I need a break from online shopping (because I am getting so worked up my heart rate is... ~measuring~ not bad 76 bpm, I thought it would be higher) ANYWAY. I wasted too much of your time already. All I wanted to say is...
I got a new ring!
because I do not know what is worse... Wearing a ring that you know doesn't really ~fit~ anymore, or getting sad from having to check every time for a ring that is not there anymore... (#hugot) so I did what I know is best and added to cart! HAHA
I like my rings thin and flat. because I work in the lab and wear gloves constantly and I have such low self-esteem for jewelry that is screaming for attention. So here, the tiara wishbone ring from pandora!
Tiara to remind myself of who I am. Chosen, loved, handpicked, a masterpiece, NOT invisible, forgiven, overcomer, healed, justified, with a purpose, saved, co-heir and PRINCESS daughter of THE king.
Til the nextpurchase adventure!
I promise I will pick this up again. I have had so many writing prompts in the last few months but I could never get them here. But tonight, as I need a break from online shopping (because I am getting so worked up my heart rate is... ~measuring~ not bad 76 bpm, I thought it would be higher) ANYWAY. I wasted too much of your time already. All I wanted to say is...
I got a new ring!
because I do not know what is worse... Wearing a ring that you know doesn't really ~fit~ anymore, or getting sad from having to check every time for a ring that is not there anymore... (#hugot) so I did what I know is best and added to cart! HAHA
I like my rings thin and flat. because I work in the lab and wear gloves constantly and I have such low self-esteem for jewelry that is screaming for attention. So here, the tiara wishbone ring from pandora!
Tiara to remind myself of who I am. Chosen, loved, handpicked, a masterpiece, NOT invisible, forgiven, overcomer, healed, justified, with a purpose, saved, co-heir and PRINCESS daughter of THE king.
Til the next
To the forgotten and to the void, Hello.
It's 4 am and I am on my break as I am working a night shift yet again. I was listening to this one song and all of a sudden I found the need to write. to express myself. to let you know.
I remember you, I think about you from time to time and I wish you well. The time that we shared, however short, will always be a part of me.
And tonight, I just want to let you know that I am thanking you the most.
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| insert airplane HAHAHA |
Hi, I think my thoughts for tonight deserves a blog post. so here it goes.
I haven't officially picked this up yet but I know eventually I will. I promise. But tonight I have a very important message that I want to say.
Last night, we went to Hillsong Young and Free. I have heard of them although I don't know all of their songs. Most of it I listened for the first time last night and I was blessed by their whole set I swear but there is just one song that spoke to me, freed me, HEALED me from the bondage that I was in for more than 4 years now...
P E A C E.
I have been depressed for years now. I had anxiety and suicidal thoughts that have stretched out for I don't know how long. I have undergone therapy twice in the last years and I'd say it gets better but I have never really categorized myself as done with it, if that makes sense. I haven't gone to the point of taking meds yet. Although, I do have melatonin for every single night, especially if I have to wake up early the next day because my thoughts just overcome me every now and then. As far as being Christian, I have heard so many things about my condition. How I lack faith or how maybe I do not really believe in God that I am thinking about committing suicide. And I cannot really explain it but, I do believe in God. And amidst my thoughts and my anxieties, I do pray that he save me, that he take it away from me but I can't really run away from them. I have heard one person say that maybe, you are doing it wrong. and maybe I was, who knows?
I don't know who you are and what your story is and why you are reading this... but if you are struggling as I was, I want to tell you this. Depression is real. The disease is just as real as cancer and diabetes. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Anybody and everybody could go through it, no exceptions... but let me tell you this. Jesus. when He died at the cross.. He finished it all for us. He took away our sins, our shame, our sickness. When it was said that by his stripes we are healed, it just didn't include physical sickness, but also emotional, spiritual and mental. Jesus when he promised that you will be healed, it included your depression and anxiety and it no longer holds a thing on us. Yes, depression is real but so is He. JESUS.
I haven't officially picked this up yet but I know eventually I will. I promise. But tonight I have a very important message that I want to say.
Last night, we went to Hillsong Young and Free. I have heard of them although I don't know all of their songs. Most of it I listened for the first time last night and I was blessed by their whole set I swear but there is just one song that spoke to me, freed me, HEALED me from the bondage that I was in for more than 4 years now...
P E A C E.
I have been depressed for years now. I had anxiety and suicidal thoughts that have stretched out for I don't know how long. I have undergone therapy twice in the last years and I'd say it gets better but I have never really categorized myself as done with it, if that makes sense. I haven't gone to the point of taking meds yet. Although, I do have melatonin for every single night, especially if I have to wake up early the next day because my thoughts just overcome me every now and then. As far as being Christian, I have heard so many things about my condition. How I lack faith or how maybe I do not really believe in God that I am thinking about committing suicide. And I cannot really explain it but, I do believe in God. And amidst my thoughts and my anxieties, I do pray that he save me, that he take it away from me but I can't really run away from them. I have heard one person say that maybe, you are doing it wrong. and maybe I was, who knows?
I don't know who you are and what your story is and why you are reading this... but if you are struggling as I was, I want to tell you this. Depression is real. The disease is just as real as cancer and diabetes. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Anybody and everybody could go through it, no exceptions... but let me tell you this. Jesus. when He died at the cross.. He finished it all for us. He took away our sins, our shame, our sickness. When it was said that by his stripes we are healed, it just didn't include physical sickness, but also emotional, spiritual and mental. Jesus when he promised that you will be healed, it included your depression and anxiety and it no longer holds a thing on us. Yes, depression is real but so is He. JESUS.
Please do not give up... Please find help. Please go to a doctor, phone the hotline, do it. If you are still reading this, I am rooting for you! A stranger is rooting for you and that should mean something.... Please find peace. If you do not know where to look, find it from the Prince of Peace Himself.
Until then.
To the empty void of the internet, Hi.
I haven't written anything in a while. When I started this blog, I had high hopes that I will fill this with memories. I did make a few in the last 2 years despite the crazy schedule that I had of school, work and ministry. I have been wanting to pick this up and start again but I don't know how... So instead let me just do this...
Hello! tonight as I listen to this sad melodramatic playlist in hopes to find that one song I listened to in a movie, hello! If it's not all good tonight, I hope it eventually will be. Even if you feel terribly alone, you are not. If you are trying to find a reason to keep going, I hope you find it. And just take this in...
til the next adventures!
Mariel.
I haven't written anything in a while. When I started this blog, I had high hopes that I will fill this with memories. I did make a few in the last 2 years despite the crazy schedule that I had of school, work and ministry. I have been wanting to pick this up and start again but I don't know how... So instead let me just do this...
Hello! tonight as I listen to this sad melodramatic playlist in hopes to find that one song I listened to in a movie, hello! If it's not all good tonight, I hope it eventually will be. Even if you feel terribly alone, you are not. If you are trying to find a reason to keep going, I hope you find it. And just take this in...
til the next adventures!
Mariel.
I know I have been away for a while... but I just have to write this down...
And can I just say something that I have been really good at not saying out loud for a few months now... I miss you dad. I think of you every day and still wish that you are here with us.. I know you are in a much better place but... I want you here by my side. and I know that is just the most selfish thought ever. but somehow I know that you are always with me still.. and as I said in my "speech" before.. Everything is going to be ok. After all, I am trained by the best. I am forever going to be my father's daughter. your daughter.
'till the next adventures!
At this very moment... as I am cleaning my hard drive... (because you know I dont have time to study but I have time to do this haha) I stumbled to a document entitled "speech" and with my really trustworthy memory and amazingly witty titles for stuff in that hard drive, I didnt know what it was and so I opened it because I was intrigued.. Lo and behold.. it was the "speech" I gave.. for my dad.. during his funeral...
First thoughts.. I did not want to read it. because I wrote it and I know what's in it.. and I just didn't want a flashback of that moment... but for some reason I was just reading it.. and then little did I know I was in tears... BUT you know what's amazing? I was on the hard drive to recover some songs because I need a new playlist in my life right now. I didnt even know I had this song because I had 6000+ songs on random right now trying to scour through all of the files I have for a new playlist. and this song just played as I was reading through my thing... "Love has come" and when I was beginning to tear up this verse came up:
For anybody who has ever lost a loved oneWOW. just wow. THIS people. THIS. This is how I know that God loves me. Even if I am not asking for it yet, He is already sending comfort. He is HERE. ALREADY. I would like to think He is even faster than our wifi connection. haha but on a more serious note.. Thank you Lord. Thank you.
And you feel like you had to let go too soon
I know it hurts to say goodbye
But don't you know it's just a matter of time till the tears are gonna end
You'll see them once again and in that moment...
And can I just say something that I have been really good at not saying out loud for a few months now... I miss you dad. I think of you every day and still wish that you are here with us.. I know you are in a much better place but... I want you here by my side. and I know that is just the most selfish thought ever. but somehow I know that you are always with me still.. and as I said in my "speech" before.. Everything is going to be ok. After all, I am trained by the best. I am forever going to be my father's daughter. your daughter.
'till the next adventures!
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