I know I have been away for a while... but I just have to write this down...
And can I just say something that I have been really good at not saying out loud for a few months now... I miss you dad. I think of you every day and still wish that you are here with us.. I know you are in a much better place but... I want you here by my side. and I know that is just the most selfish thought ever. but somehow I know that you are always with me still.. and as I said in my "speech" before.. Everything is going to be ok. After all, I am trained by the best. I am forever going to be my father's daughter. your daughter.
'till the next adventures!
At this very moment... as I am cleaning my hard drive... (because you know I dont have time to study but I have time to do this haha) I stumbled to a document entitled "speech" and with my really trustworthy memory and amazingly witty titles for stuff in that hard drive, I didnt know what it was and so I opened it because I was intrigued.. Lo and behold.. it was the "speech" I gave.. for my dad.. during his funeral...
First thoughts.. I did not want to read it. because I wrote it and I know what's in it.. and I just didn't want a flashback of that moment... but for some reason I was just reading it.. and then little did I know I was in tears... BUT you know what's amazing? I was on the hard drive to recover some songs because I need a new playlist in my life right now. I didnt even know I had this song because I had 6000+ songs on random right now trying to scour through all of the files I have for a new playlist. and this song just played as I was reading through my thing... "Love has come" and when I was beginning to tear up this verse came up:
For anybody who has ever lost a loved oneWOW. just wow. THIS people. THIS. This is how I know that God loves me. Even if I am not asking for it yet, He is already sending comfort. He is HERE. ALREADY. I would like to think He is even faster than our wifi connection. haha but on a more serious note.. Thank you Lord. Thank you.
And you feel like you had to let go too soon
I know it hurts to say goodbye
But don't you know it's just a matter of time till the tears are gonna end
You'll see them once again and in that moment...
And can I just say something that I have been really good at not saying out loud for a few months now... I miss you dad. I think of you every day and still wish that you are here with us.. I know you are in a much better place but... I want you here by my side. and I know that is just the most selfish thought ever. but somehow I know that you are always with me still.. and as I said in my "speech" before.. Everything is going to be ok. After all, I am trained by the best. I am forever going to be my father's daughter. your daughter.
'till the next adventures!
The tone of this site has been colorful and filled with adventures. After all this site, although it includes some of the intimate parts of my life, is open to the public. But life is not really like that right? Can you just let me keep things real and just let me vent here? You don't have to read this if you don't want to but I just want to put it here so people would know that my life like everybody else's is not perfect.
'till the next adventures!!
It's been a week since I came back from the Philippines. Life over there has been humbling. It is true that I am way blessed than most people over there. (I just typed a bunch of things and then just erased it because I want to keep it simple, so here it is) Yes I am blessed in ways I dont even deserve. BUT my life here is not at all as peachy as you would imagine. Now today is a really bad day. like I would say this is the worst day that I ever had here in Canada, next to my dad passing away of course.
Here's a life in the worst day of Mariel Tan 2016
6:30 am - woke up, got ready, no breakfast ready yet so just head out the door for Doctor's appointment
7:15 am - Doctor's appointment. everything looking better than before but not really 100% just yet.
8:00 am - breakfast at the hospital cafeteria
8:30 am - took the train to go to school for 9:15 class
9:15 am - in class
11:05 - lunch for an hour, not really hungry yet so just had iced cap, really tired and sleepy though but had to get ready for labs
2:15 pm - 1 lab down, 1 more to go, although getting a little hungry. wasn't able to finish activity because getting bothered by hunger.
4:15 pm - Labs done. was so hungry couldn't even walk straight
4:45 pm - at home, babies crying, struggled to get food. had to finish activity that was left behind
6:05 pm - after fighting yes fighting with scanner, finally done and able to nap for night shift
9:30 pm - night starting, got ready for work
10:45 pm - night shift started. started so hungry, wasn't able to eat at home since there is no food to eat or to bring.
11:15 pm - ready to give up at life. but had to continue shift 7.5 hours to go!
and my day is not over yet. but yes. I am fortunate that I get to finance my education on my own, that I have a source of income that is sustainable for me... but have you ever had life this way? I am only 23. I need a break.
'till the next adventures!!
Just got home from church and my bestfriend, my baby girl, my blossom in our own powerpuff girls (me being bubbles and ate sophia being buttercup) has this naturally red cheeks and I wanted to take a photo of it but she wants more. what can I say? she's a natural!
I love movies, and you know what I love more? When I watch it with these kids!!! I have watched Finding Nemo a thousand times when I was younger so it was a no-brainer for me to watch finding dory. Watching it with these kids made it even more special. The movie is so awesome!!
TBH I can't imagine the pressure that the team has for creating Finding Dory. Finding Nemo was so successful, so beautiful, so wonderfully created. I mean it wasn't your typical children movie, I know I was already older and I still loved that movie. and not nostalgic old but teenager old which you know at that time I was trying so hard to be an adult I was staying away from children's movie but I still remember LOVING Finding Nemo. so when Finding Dory's trailer came out I didn't actually know what I would feel... my initial reaction was YAY but then after awhile I'm like.. oh no, will they ruin the movie? but IT DIDN'T DISAPPOINT. ddooooRRRyyyyy!!!!! if you have seen the movie you'll get the reference. this is a 9/10 from yeye-not-a-movie-critic-but-gives-rating-anyway, definitely a movie that I will watch again!
TBH I can't imagine the pressure that the team has for creating Finding Dory. Finding Nemo was so successful, so beautiful, so wonderfully created. I mean it wasn't your typical children movie, I know I was already older and I still loved that movie. and not nostalgic old but teenager old which you know at that time I was trying so hard to be an adult I was staying away from children's movie but I still remember LOVING Finding Nemo. so when Finding Dory's trailer came out I didn't actually know what I would feel... my initial reaction was YAY but then after awhile I'm like.. oh no, will they ruin the movie? but IT DIDN'T DISAPPOINT. ddooooRRRyyyyy!!!!! if you have seen the movie you'll get the reference. this is a 9/10 from yeye-not-a-movie-critic-but-gives-rating-anyway, definitely a movie that I will watch again!
I subscribed for an Ipsy glam bag that comes once every month and here is what I got for this month.
I personally loved the masks, and the highlighter. I loved the color of the nail polish, very me. The moisturizing cream I haven't tried yet, but it smells ok, not bad, which is the most important part for me. LOL
I personally loved the masks, and the highlighter. I loved the color of the nail polish, very me. The moisturizing cream I haven't tried yet, but it smells ok, not bad, which is the most important part for me. LOL
since I am really inlove with sam claflin right now, i wanted to watch another movie of his and the one I found is Love, Rosie. Its funny because I was watching and loving it at the same time that by the end of the movie I wanted to watch it again. I was so excited about the movie that I told Ate Kat (my work wife) about it and as I was telling her the plot, I remembered a book I have read in highschool and how it has the same plot except this book was done by a collection of letters, and then I just had a huge 'eureka' moment and google searched it and it turns out to be the same! I know sometimes the movie doesn't hold up against the book but on this one i actually liked the movie MORE than the book.
Though the presentation of the book is unique and really different, I liked the movie better because the story is more put together. I didnt mind reading the book then since Rosie's letters to anybody was detailed in a way that you know what exactly is going on. but the movie was better! imagine if anybody was edgy enough to do the movie as like a series of flashback with letters, like that would suck so much. The ending was amazing too. In the book it is sweet because they finally got together even though they are 80.. It was such a frustrating book because Rosie and Alex are clearly meant for each other since the beginning but they kept denying it. The movie was good 2 thumbs up! 9/10 from a yeye-not-a-movie-critic-but-gives-ratings-anyway! will watch it again!
Though the presentation of the book is unique and really different, I liked the movie better because the story is more put together. I didnt mind reading the book then since Rosie's letters to anybody was detailed in a way that you know what exactly is going on. but the movie was better! imagine if anybody was edgy enough to do the movie as like a series of flashback with letters, like that would suck so much. The ending was amazing too. In the book it is sweet because they finally got together even though they are 80.. It was such a frustrating book because Rosie and Alex are clearly meant for each other since the beginning but they kept denying it. The movie was good 2 thumbs up! 9/10 from a yeye-not-a-movie-critic-but-gives-ratings-anyway! will watch it again!
Early birthday celebration!!!
for my mama, that is :)
we tried this place we havent tried before and it didnt disappoint!
for my mama, that is :)
we tried this place we havent tried before and it didnt disappoint!
another movie!!! and this one i am really excited to tell you.
This movie is a 10/10 for me. for so many reasons. by just watching the trailer, and watching the pre-movie interviews i kinda guessed the story already. I was hesitant to like it even before watching it because i have a different belief and I don't like a not so happy ending. I just didn't know how to feel. I am the spoiler type of person, When i watch a movie I want to be prepared on whats gonna happen. I'm just lame like that. There was also a time when I didn't even want to see it, wait-for-it-on-netflix type of thing but I am just captivated by Sam Claflin that I just have to actually go! and I am so glad I did.
***********************************spoilers ahead***********************************
This movie is a 10/10 for me. for so many reasons. by just watching the trailer, and watching the pre-movie interviews i kinda guessed the story already. I was hesitant to like it even before watching it because i have a different belief and I don't like a not so happy ending. I just didn't know how to feel. I am the spoiler type of person, When i watch a movie I want to be prepared on whats gonna happen. I'm just lame like that. There was also a time when I didn't even want to see it, wait-for-it-on-netflix type of thing but I am just captivated by Sam Claflin that I just have to actually go! and I am so glad I did.
***********************************spoilers ahead***********************************
never posted one. never bought this kind of clothing ever either. so let me just have this one please. hahaha it was a gift from my tita and tito from the states. and i just wanted to say thank yo , i was never the adventurer type and would have never bought a romper like this myself. thank you for letting me realize that they are actually comfy and looks decent on me!
This weekend is finally here. It has been my 4th year in coming to Youth Conference Alberta or as what I like to call it - YCAB. I am 22 years old and to be honest I am feeling like I am getting too old for this. or so I thought.
The level of your expectation determines the level by which you will be filled.
I have heard that from years back and that's how I always see things. I expected not too much this year as I thought I am too old for this. I came because of the worships to be honest. I love giving my heart to God through songs and dancing and YCAB is perfect for that. and yet, God still made his word clear, even when I wasn't trying to listen. This year's round of speakers were really good. Their message was concise and well put together. I am really glad I came.
Also, this year is special because it is the last year that it is going to be spent here in Edmonton. Since Rexall Place will be renovated, next year's YCAB will be at Red Deer. maybe a couple of hours away from Edmonton and we are not sure if we are still going to be there, but i sure hope we are.
-till the next adventure!
Photo dump!
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| OOTN. a really tired girl can try right? all day work and then YC at night. |
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| glad to be spending YC with this man |
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| Eric Samuel Timm delivering the word of God |
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| The feeling youth couple hahah |
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| IT WAS DELICIOUS! |
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| THE WATOTO KIDS. GRREEAAT worship. |
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| i can't even. seriously though. I NEED YOU. |
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| Jon Neufeld of Starfield |
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| My nervous picture. Told him the time I first discovered their band and he remembers! SAVED festival |
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| Jaytee jeepney foodtruck in YC. |
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| the other half of the Neufeld brothers, Tim and the glory boys. |
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| that famous band that I forgot the name.. uuuggghhh.. |
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| DAY 3! tired eyes but happy faces! |
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| Elijah waters delivering the word. |
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| SWAG. |
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| sorry not sorry for a bathroom selfie. It's the watoto shirt! |
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