Hi, I think my thoughts for tonight deserves a blog post. so here it goes.
I haven't officially picked this up yet but I know eventually I will. I promise. But tonight I have a very important message that I want to say.
Last night, we went to Hillsong Young and Free. I have heard of them although I don't know all of their songs. Most of it I listened for the first time last night and I was blessed by their whole set I swear but there is just one song that spoke to me, freed me, HEALED me from the bondage that I was in for more than 4 years now...
P E A C E.
I have been depressed for years now. I had anxiety and suicidal thoughts that have stretched out for I don't know how long. I have undergone therapy twice in the last years and I'd say it gets better but I have never really categorized myself as done with it, if that makes sense. I haven't gone to the point of taking meds yet. Although, I do have melatonin for every single night, especially if I have to wake up early the next day because my thoughts just overcome me every now and then. As far as being Christian, I have heard so many things about my condition. How I lack faith or how maybe I do not really believe in God that I am thinking about committing suicide. And I cannot really explain it but, I do believe in God. And amidst my thoughts and my anxieties, I do pray that he save me, that he take it away from me but I can't really run away from them. I have heard one person say that maybe, you are doing it wrong. and maybe I was, who knows?
I don't know who you are and what your story is and why you are reading this... but if you are struggling as I was, I want to tell you this. Depression is real. The disease is just as real as cancer and diabetes. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Anybody and everybody could go through it, no exceptions... but let me tell you this. Jesus. when He died at the cross.. He finished it all for us. He took away our sins, our shame, our sickness. When it was said that by his stripes we are healed, it just didn't include physical sickness, but also emotional, spiritual and mental. Jesus when he promised that you will be healed, it included your depression and anxiety and it no longer holds a thing on us. Yes, depression is real but so is He. JESUS.
I haven't officially picked this up yet but I know eventually I will. I promise. But tonight I have a very important message that I want to say.
Last night, we went to Hillsong Young and Free. I have heard of them although I don't know all of their songs. Most of it I listened for the first time last night and I was blessed by their whole set I swear but there is just one song that spoke to me, freed me, HEALED me from the bondage that I was in for more than 4 years now...
P E A C E.
I have been depressed for years now. I had anxiety and suicidal thoughts that have stretched out for I don't know how long. I have undergone therapy twice in the last years and I'd say it gets better but I have never really categorized myself as done with it, if that makes sense. I haven't gone to the point of taking meds yet. Although, I do have melatonin for every single night, especially if I have to wake up early the next day because my thoughts just overcome me every now and then. As far as being Christian, I have heard so many things about my condition. How I lack faith or how maybe I do not really believe in God that I am thinking about committing suicide. And I cannot really explain it but, I do believe in God. And amidst my thoughts and my anxieties, I do pray that he save me, that he take it away from me but I can't really run away from them. I have heard one person say that maybe, you are doing it wrong. and maybe I was, who knows?
I don't know who you are and what your story is and why you are reading this... but if you are struggling as I was, I want to tell you this. Depression is real. The disease is just as real as cancer and diabetes. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Anybody and everybody could go through it, no exceptions... but let me tell you this. Jesus. when He died at the cross.. He finished it all for us. He took away our sins, our shame, our sickness. When it was said that by his stripes we are healed, it just didn't include physical sickness, but also emotional, spiritual and mental. Jesus when he promised that you will be healed, it included your depression and anxiety and it no longer holds a thing on us. Yes, depression is real but so is He. JESUS.
Please do not give up... Please find help. Please go to a doctor, phone the hotline, do it. If you are still reading this, I am rooting for you! A stranger is rooting for you and that should mean something.... Please find peace. If you do not know where to look, find it from the Prince of Peace Himself.
Until then.
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